Friday, May 18, 2012

And now for something completely different...

Every entrepreneur can use a break now and again. Blame it on snow-madness, blame it on March madness., or blame it simply on a little Friday-itis. Here are some good laughs to send you off into the weekend:

Accountant and the Business OwnerThere once was a business owner who was interviewing people for a division manager position. He decided to select the individual that could answer the question "how much is 2+2?"

The engineer pulled out his slide rule and shuffled it back and forth, and finally announced "It lies between 3.98 and 4.02".

The mathematician said "In two hours I can demonstrate it equals 4 with the following short proof."

The attorney stated "In the case of Svenson vs. the State, 2+2 was declared to be 4."

The trader asked "Are you buying or selling?"

The accountant looked at the business owner, then got out of his chair, went to see if anyone was listening at the door and pulled the drapes. Then he returned to the business owner, leaned across the desk and said in a low voice "What would you like it to be?"


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A new business was opening and one of the owner's friends wanted to send flowers for the occasion. They arrived at the new business site and the owner read the card; it said “Rest in Peace”. The owner was angry and called the florist to complain. After he had told the florist of the obvious mistake and how angry he was, the florist said. “Sir, I”m really sorry for the mistake, but rather than getting angry you should imagine this: somewhere there is a funeral taking place today, and they have flowers with a note saying, “Congratulations on your new location!”

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Fresh out of business school, the young man answered a want ad for an accountant. Now he was being interviewed by a very nervous man who ran a small business that he had started himself.”I need someone with an accounting degree,” the man said. “But mainly, I”m looking for someone to do my worrying for me.”"Excuse me?” the accountant said.”I worry about a lot of things,” the man said. “But I don’t want to have to worry about money. Your job will be to take all the money worries off my back.” “I see,” the accountant said. “And how much does the job pay?” “I’ll start you at eighty thousand.”"Eighty thousand dollars!” the accountant exclaimed. “How can such a small business afford a sum like that? “That,” the owner said, “is your first worry.”

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A customer sent an order to a distributor for a large amount of goods totaling a great deal of money.The distributor noticed that the previous bill hadn’t been paid. The collections manager left a voice-mail for them saying, “We can’t ship your new order until you pay for the last one. “The next day the collections manager received a collect phone call, “Please cancel the order. We can ‘t wait that long. ” 

hhhmmm, I think I had a client try that one once?!

Enjoy your weekend!

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